We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Hugo Grayling and the Wilderness Within

by Ortega Fuerte

supported by
Jonathan Smith
Jonathan Smith thumbnail
Jonathan Smith Absolutely one of the most interesting albums I have heard in a long time. Very good all around, with a fantastic blend of music and lyrics.
/
1.
Keepskilling 04:31
Something we all do Something we all do keeps killing us now And we know how Something big that's far away Something small that's quite nearby Can be arranged in such a way As to appear a similar size. If you knew the day you'd die And it was ten years from today It might seem a similar size to a friend who moved away. We do it in the depths of the nightmare. We do it in the pith of the day. We do it with mysterious weakness And amazing grace. I'd like to think we know at least enough to know we're wrong. I'd like to say something that made me feel that I belong. We trace it into the brains of our cities We sow it in a monster's regret We drip it into the brains of our children It hasn't happened yet. I'd like to think we might agree to live the way we die. I'd like to think that honesty is not what makes the lie. Something big that's far away Something small that's quite nearby Can be arranged in such a way As to appear a similar size.
2.
When she walks downtown to the club on a Saturday night, he tries to tell her what her loving is for; When she beats him down with a pipe on a Saturday night, nobody tells her what she couldn't afford and there's a bloodstained hand Sliding in the rain down the windowpane and as the blood Runs out, it's making little ruby rivers of Saturday now. She walks this way, doesn't care about their words anymore; she's finally feeling like a person again It was a sickness painting lines on what you had to divide, 'til you decide it's something different then; Then you've got two new kinds Of people you're unable to reconcile So she equips herself As if she doesn't even know the prevailing style. She likes to speak with someone who believes the things she knows. She makes a mess inside, she doesn't stand there and cry, She isn't waiting for the hammer to fall; She takes a step outside and thinks a lot about the wonderful lives of all the people that her mother would call-- She'd be beside herself; She'd never learn away to negotiate And so it keeps her well To remember every reason to celebrate herself.
3.
Movies are a way of deferring your now, Though it seems like you're working on yourself somehow. Hawthorn boughs and communion bread, Moonlit miles in your snowbound bed, Every place you create or remember is an antidote for what you would like to deny: The ones you love are too far away, And one day, you'll die. A story is a way of correcting the truth. It says more about you now than it explains about your youth. Whatever might have happened then, The words you choose now can amend; Every time you tell it differently something new begins to happen behind you in time-- And it changes the present, And you change your mind. Stir up a cloud of fiction and settle in; The slightest hint of friction, and it's relocation again. (anything to keep you distracted) I just want a distraction, so I can move on-- (anything to keep you distracted) I just want a distraction, until I'm gone. I wonder if I'm really a person at all. I really haven't done that much and there's no one to call. The ones I cared for most are done Believing that I'm anyone And I wonder if I'll ever be enough for me to leave me alone when I'm tired; If I'm really in charge of myself, I'm fired.
4.
5.
I could never disappear for anyone but you. I wouldn't have the fortitude to make myself pass through. You must believe you can; though others cannot understand what vanishing requires, to do-- It happens all the time when you don't try You're coming with me as I Force myself into the blue. I could never picture what was happening inside All the blessed geniuses who perfectly provide Pockets full of rain, Elegance in explanation Hideous and brave, besides I have just one flame that I must hide And I could show you, But you'd tell me it was just a lie. Many people live through torture; Many people live through pain. The legend is embossed into your brain But you can't stand to live this way You have to make yourself the same You have to make yourself the same. Some say Jesus comes to meet them, Some say we don't know. Some say there's an analogue For every place we go- A parallel in dreams, A heaven in the seams of living, glistening between the screams; Glimpsed between the gears of a machine And I could show you, But you'd have to make yourself believe.
6.
Monument Man 04:11
It took him months to achieve the design. And all of the papers were filed on time. Work began, Blasting the stone into hymns and candlelight. Near the end, everyone told him he'd lost his mind. Nobody knew what to do with the hole. Like all other absence that can't be controlled. Mother said maybe they'd like it in Paris or someplace like that. Father said, it's just a ditch you can fill it right in where it's at. Bring your machines around And fill in his negative space. We've got to smooth this out, Lest absence be taken for grace. How can a person be proud of a taking-away-- An achievement for thieves and decay? Society stands on a monument, not on a loss (save for the kind on a cross). Now he's a man in a diner like you. Who gives no impression of trying-to-do. Even so, he's concocted a story as false as it is real. Knowing him is knowing a fiction that hides all the while it reveals. Maybe he'll die and they'll give him a stone...
7.
8.
Everybody knows someone important, Has an angel on which to rely; There is something everybody (but me) understands, And I won't understand before I die. Some people build a cathedral That takes more than one lifetime to complete. When they're gone, their children carry on. The fruits of their labor go unseen. Everybody has someone to talk to; Has someone who knows what it means. There is something everybody (but me) understands; It makes me jealous and faithless and mean. There is something everybody (but me) understands. And I don't even know what I've seen
9.
Oldworld 04:57
Phone call, take another picture off the wall Slip a note inside the frame, hang it just a bit this way... White lies, stories nearly five denials high-- you'll have to go inside your dream, walk the meaning back to me. Every time the world goes still And the ferns around you swell, Making you a creature now Following the path around, Can you smell the stream? Is the water of your dream something of a message now, Something of a script borne out? What has happened in your oldworld? What's continuing to bind you? Hide you from me? Day dawns, fissures in the bricks around your home Convince you there was something here Until you feel it drawing hear. I tried getting the coordinates to slide Backward into where you sleep But the rift was far too deep Can you show me how If the fates would not allow I wonder could you show me how Can you show me tonight Pick a place inside your light I wonder could you show me tonight Could you show me tonight?
10.
Why do you say these things again tonight? Why do you need my pain to stay alive? How does your world get better if we hit each other? How does your world get brighter if we hate each other How? Does it make you tall? Does it multiply your numbers, make you very Rich And wanted, Rich, Pursued by Everyone lovely, Granting eternal Life: what a sparkling life. I'm paying you. I'm paying you to do the things I tell you to. I'm paying you. I'm paying you to do the things I won't. I'm paying you. Not because I want to but because I love you all. And if you don't like that, I suppose I'll have to carry on alone. And if you don't like that, I suppose you'll have to carry on alone. Why should I wait out here While you go in there? Why should I hide my fear When you're running scared, how Does your bed get softer if we start another Fight; does your bath run hotter if we kill each other? Why Does it make you sing? Does it make the mountains and meadows echo your song of Self? Do you make yourself? Does it take The love of the lessor, father confessor? Life: what a sparkling life.
11.
Why are you making that noise, Why are you starting that machine? I can hear it in my bones. I can hear it in my dreams. And are you starving that child While you're arguing with me, and is your anger too loud, to hear the rest of us scream? You need to see it in the news, now, don't you? It's the only way you can take my word for anything In this world. You need to see it in the big bold letters, handed down from the mouths of the only ones you'll believe. Go on and cripple my voice, Go on and call my bluff, Go on and baffle my mathematics So I can never add up Go on and call me a name Go on and make me a child Go on and terrify my pain Until it can't sing out. Even as light makes darkness flee, Did you think you could trap that ghost in me? You're expecting to revise my memory, But I'm free-I'm too free. Can you cancel my past? Can you revise my will? Can you edit my experience? Can you metabolize my pill? Can you inhabit my mind? Can you control my gait? Can you suicide my soul To keep your narrative straight?
12.
Enemies 05:04
I met our childhood enemy the other day; He said he had something to show me. He led me back the long road to his father's house; We found his father in the library, drinking. I knew his father always hated my people; I was embarrassed when he stood up to greet me. He put his hand on my shoulder and apologized. I thought that he would never stop crying. I asked our enemy on the ride back home If there was something I'd forgotten: He said our childhood was a certain kind of act And I was trapped in a vanishing proscenium. When you try too hard, you'll find--you're surrounded by old enemies. Faces soft and kind, memories of better days When we used to fight, but it didn't mean a thing. Let's go back tonight, let's recover everything. Now all your wives and husbands Can't relate to what you've been through 'Cause they have an understanding Built on the worlds they grew up against. But we conducted our lives on a secret stage; All of our actions had a double meaning Read from a script nobody else could know about We learned the finer points of secret-keeping My best friend's wife believes it's just depression (how do we help him break through?) He sits and stares sometimes and we can't reach him (what do you think he might do?) Sometimes I can't complete a conversation.... At first I was quick to get my feelings hurt; It took me some time to get used to it. It's only later I found out that it was all for show And no one really meant a thing they were saying. Even so there was something really valuable there; The hate and friendship were so much simpler Without the messy complications of their real equivalents It was a life I could not just abandon...
13.
A pickled eye, a petri dish. A map of Africa, the journal of a witch. A water clock, a pewter bird, Encyclopedias of the absurd. I furnish you, you furnish me- We furnish houses in each other constantly I redesign your living space, You put the picture in the other place The place where people never say the things they see, And I can't get these living spaces out of me. But happiness is something strange: No dusty moth collection, made to rearrange. Made to rearrange. Made to rearrange. Made to rearrange.
14.
Don't Worry 03:52
This is my ship; I've been waiting to sail her home-- Tell me you didn't know She'll be the witness to all I come to own; Even her power is gold. And when we open the world...I'm not alone in the world... Isn't she lovely as life, now, Harry? We had a problem although we were very small--maybe too small to see. Nobody told us it had to be resolved Or else it would always be. And as we grew in the world It settled through in the world-- You know, I think of it all afternoon now, Harry... Some things are meant to hurt-- To stop you from cutting the nerve completely. It doesn't matter what you think you deserve, If you bear what you care about Most discreetly... We shared a secret one night between the pines; something that couldn't be said. It silently sealed itself halfway between our minds; Maybe that halfway is dead. And now I sail for a shore I thought was buried before And I simply can't take you along, now, Harry. If you forget me I hope it's for the best. Maybe one day you can dream. And you can enjoy what it means without distress -- The morning will come, you will see. You'll walk as solid as day Until you're well on your way-- And I'll have been gone seven years, now, Harry.

about

A strikingly original release--meticulously constructed and blooming with unearthly color and texture--Hugo Grayling and the Wilderness Within features contemplative lyrics, infectious melodies, boombox beats, and technicolor orchestrations, all topped off with Ortega Fuerte's signature vocal harmonies. All in all, an essential record from the Pittsburgh indie duo and a personal watermark for arranger/producer/writer/instrumentalist Hugo Grayling.

credits

released June 6, 2015

Hugo Grayling: words, music, arrangements, instrumentation.
Chris Rohlf: Bass and backing vocal on But, Happiness; consultation.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Ortega Fuerte Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Ortega Fuerte are a group of songwriters and multi-instrumentalists founded in 2003 by core member Hugo Grayling and often including the contributions of Air Anchor's Chris Rohlf.

contact / help

Contact Ortega Fuerte

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Ortega Fuerte, you may also like: